I'm breaking down and I don’t know why.

I'm breaking down and I don’t know why.

I'm trying to look at the good but right now i just want to cry.
I don’t know what I am doing anymore.
Maybe its the fact that I feel so alone.
I really only have ONE really close friend who is like a Sister to me.
But I always feel unimportant and like i dont matter.
I am so confused with my life.
I cut my dad out of my life a while ago.
And one of the reasons i feel so unimportant is because my own FATHER has not even made an effort to come back into my life; Which shows he doesnt care.
I dont want him back in my life anyway. Period. AT ALL. But it kinda hurts that he doesnt wanna come back into it at all.
And one of my best guy friends is the guy i want to be with.
I like him alot; and i think he might know.
But i dont understand. I like him so much; I just want to be with him; I think he likes me as well because he seems to flirt with me. But he does not realize how much i care about him and how much i am hurting because i want to be more than friends.
And i miss my bestfriend from last year.
We got into the biggest fight and there is no way she would even consider being my friend again; because all that happened was to much to bear.
I just dont know. This isnt even half of what im feeling. I just want to be happy but i cant.